10 Year Anniversary
If you had told me 10 years ago that the very day of my 10 year wedding anniversary, I’d be flying to my house in Aruba…
…with my husband and four year old child…
…and that I’d not only know how to cook, but that I’d be a food blogger, be a contributor on a chef’s website, along with being a yoga teacher, and among many other job titles and roles, that I’d be a mother…
…I would have laughed in your face.
And asked you to pour me another Kettle One on the rocks, extra cherries. I was on a double-fisting liquid diet combined with maraschino cherries for many years. And oh God, it sure was fun but I grew up and those days are long gone.
But no, really, I can’t believe it’s the day of my 10 year wedding anniversary.
In this post, I wrote about how we met, how we moved in together almost immediately, and then moved across the country together without knowing a soul.
I also talked about our $199 Las Vegas impromtu wedding, my hot pink Betsey Johnson “wedding” dress, my pink plastic gum-machine ring, and my plastic bouquet.
I gave some of my thoughts about what makes a marriage work and traits that can help make marriage work. Here’s a cut and paste of those:
“I am not an expert, but after 9 years married and 10+ together, things that I think help make long term partnerships work are as follows. There are no guarantees, and this is not a complete list, but these things help give a union a better chance of survival:
A Sense of Humor
Not Lying/Being Truthful
Admitting when I’m Wrong
Saying I’m Sorry
Rolling with Changes and accepting that People Change, Life Changes, Situations Change
Being each other’s Best Friend
Showing Support for his Interests
Giving Space & Freedom to Pursue things that have nothing to do with Me or the Relationship
Showing Tough Love when needed
Acceptance that no one is perfect
Tolerance for things that annoy me but I practice accepting them anyway
A little bit of luck that the person I married is sane and normal which helps a lot
Letting the little stuff slide as much as possible
Gratitude for our marriage and for Scott being in my life and being my life partner”
Go read the original post if you have a minute because it’s quite entertaining.
The past 10 years have had ups, downs, and sideways moments. Marriage is hard work, it’s not always easy, it’s not always fun. I will not say we are one of those couples who “never argues”. Oh, we have and we do.
But we’ve also had our share of fabulous moments. We have truly lived. We did everything together before Skylar was born; we were joined at the hip when one of us wasn’t traveling for work.
In our free time, we traveled together from Napa Valley…
to St. John and underwater snorkeling trails.
We saw beautiful places and explored together. We lived on a canyon with hot air balloons that flew overhead and sipped wine on our patio while we watched them go by.
We worked out together from yoga classes to running 5 and 10k’s to running half marathons together.
We got Scuba dive certified together.
We had dinners out, drinks out, parties out, and more going out moments than you can imagine.
Poseidon in Del Mar was a weekly fave for drinks and apps on the patio.
It’s been a wild ride, full of adventure and passion, and we both like to live life to the fullest!
We don’t spend nearly the amount of time together that we used to. A child, our jobs, life in general is just different, but Scott knows me better than anyone, he’s my best friend, and vice versa.
He has no idea it’s our anniversary. I gave up getting bent out of shape that he forgets birthdays and anniversaries years ago and we don’t exchange gifts anyway. I know he loves me, even if he forgets certain dates. Truly, I don’t even care anymore!
Here’s to another decade, with happy times and more memories to be made. Hopefully starting when we land in Aruba!
Happy Anniversary, Scott! (For his job reasons, I don’t post pictures of him on my blog and unfortunately, I never used to take a fraction of the pictures that I do now, so I don’t have many snapshots of life 5-10 years ago, and what I do have, is not digital.)
From my last post about Contributing & Superstitious, thanks for the kind words on my new gig. Yes, I’m excited! And Holly told me that Marcus won Top Chef Masters and he cooked for President Obama. Wow!
I hope that Friday the 13th went just dandy for those of you who are superstitious, too.
1. Have you ever been married? Or what’s the longest relationship you’ve been in?
I cannot believe I’ve been with Scott for a third of my life! I was young when I got married, and everyone said it wouldn’t last.
That he was too old for me (he’s 17 years older than I am) and that he was going through a midlife crisis and I was looking for a father figure.
That we didn’t know each other well enough to have gotten married so soon and that it was just “a phase”.
Well, I guess we proved them all wrong because it did last.
2. What are your top relationship tips? What advice or tips have worked for you?
Basically just realizing that sh*t happens, and not getting too bent out of shape about it, being able to forgive and forget, and just knowing he has my back and is not trying to piss me off in those stressful moments, those are things I remember when the going gets tough.
You read some my other tips in the body of the post.
Any you want to share?
3. What are your favorite relationship memories? When you think about your current (or past) relationships, what do you remember fondly?
The biggest things that I miss, and remember extremely fondly, is just having unstructured time together and goofing off.
Going out without having to “plan” for it, going out drinking, sitting around on the couch watching episodes of the Bachelor and American Idol together, working out every day together, I miss those things, tremendously. But hey, I have the memories and this phase of life isn’t forever and we will get back to some of those things, too.
Happy Decade, Scott!
(I will make sure he reads this post since he rarely reads my blog)