Normally I don’t share too many of Skylar’s little quips, stories, and various entertaining bits that come out of her mouth, but she’s had so many gems lately that have had me in stitches. If I don’t write them down, they will be lost and forgotten forever.

She’s four years old and I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Skylar

So consider this as much for me and posterity as it is for you but I’m sure you’ll get a few chuckles.

1. We were at the pool earlier in the week and there was a man who was being loud and just generally obnoxious and disturbing the Zen.

Side of pool with chairs

He was a bit drunk and was telling loud, crass stories, and just one of those people who you wish would just zip it and enjoy the peace and quiet and beautiful day.  And let everyone else do the same.

Skylar grabbed our keys and walked over to the man and touched his arm with the keys.

Two keys on keychain

Scott jumped up and said, “Skylar we don’t put keys on people like that!”

And she said, “I know Dad, but I’m trying to turn this man off.

Everyone in earshot busted out in laughter, including the man’s wife.

2. She is obsessed with weddings, marriages, and brides.  One of the few channels we get in Aruba is the E! Channel and she’s just as excited about seeing the Kim & Kris Wedding re-run episodes every single time, as if it was the first time.

Every time she tells me, “Look Mom, Kim is getting married again!”

And I think to myself, yes, and the next time she does get married it will hopefully make for the third time’s a charm phenomenon.

3. Along with the wedding obsession, Skylar is also fascinated and intrigued about pregnancy, birth, babies, and reproduction in general.

She hasn’t actually asked how they are made or where they come from.

She knows that “Ladies grow them”, they “stay in for a long time and then they fall out”, and she tells me about the one boy and one girl she is going to have when she grows up and gets married.

Trust me when I say we don’t sit around looking at the latest issue of Brides Magazine with TLC’s Birth Story on in the background.  I really believe some of this stuff is just hard-wired in her.  She is just so drawn to weddings and babies; it’s unreal.

4. Not “funny” but shocking is when your child screams, “Awww, mom, look at the pregnant lady!  I bet she’s going to have her baby any day now.”

But the lady isn’t pregnant.

Whoa.

5. She has also told Scott and I many times over the past two weeks that we’re amazing parents, that she really really really loves us, and she’s so glad we take her to Aruba and go as a family.

We ooh and ahh and melt and tell her how much that means to us and that she’s an amazing little girl and that we love her, too.

We’re just about ready to wipe up our Hallmark tears up when she asks us for (more) dessert.  She has told me that she liked this one

Stack of chocolate saltine toffee

…better than this one

White chocolate peanut pretzel chocolate chip fudge

…but always finishes up her request with a very nonchalant, “It’s okay Mom, whatever you want to give me, I’m sure I’ll like it.”

Such a little dessert thief!

Questions:

Do you have kids (or nieces, nephews, cousins, younger siblings, etc.) or are you around small children who say some really funny (or not so funny) things? 

If you can remember anything off the top of your head, I’d love to hear it.

Do you remember saying anything funny, off the wall, or wildly inappropriate as a child?

I think we all did.

My mother has said that when my sister was about three years old she apparently made a few choice remarks about someone’s size in the grocery line and why were they buying all that ice cream anyway.

Sometimes the things kids say make no sense whatsoever.  They’re kids, they have imaginations, and they just blabber and it’s very nonsensical.

Other times the things they say are rooted in honesty and common sense but they have no filter and just blurt out whatever is on their mind.  They blurt things out that adults wouldn’t, and it can be pretty priceless.

Case in point, the #1 in this post.  It was so spot on.  Turning him off; everyone in earshot of him was wishing for it but no had the balls the heart to tell the guy to zip it, please.

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