From a Child’s Mouth


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Normally I don’t share too many of Skylar’s little quips, stories, and various entertaining bits that come out of her mouth, but she’s had so many gems lately that have had me in stitches. If I don’t write them down, they will be lost and forgotten forever.

She’s four years old and I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.


So consider this as much for me and posterity as it is for you but I’m sure you’ll get a few chuckles.

1. We were at the pool earlier in the week and there was a man who was being loud and just generally obnoxious and disturbing the Zen.

Side of pool with chairs

He was a bit drunk and was telling loud, crass stories, and just one of those people who you wish would just zip it and enjoy the peace and quiet and beautiful day.  And let everyone else do the same.

Skylar grabbed our keys and walked over to the man and touched his arm with the keys.

Two keys on keychain

Scott jumped up and said, “Skylar we don’t put keys on people like that!”

And she said, “I know Dad, but I’m trying to turn this man off.

Everyone in earshot busted out in laughter, including the man’s wife.

2. She is obsessed with weddings, marriages, and brides.  One of the few channels we get in Aruba is the E! Channel and she’s just as excited about seeing the Kim & Kris Wedding re-run episodes every single time, as if it was the first time.

Every time she tells me, “Look Mom, Kim is getting married again!”

And I think to myself, yes, and the next time she does get married it will hopefully make for the third time’s a charm phenomenon.

3. Along with the wedding obsession, Skylar is also fascinated and intrigued about pregnancy, birth, babies, and reproduction in general.

She hasn’t actually asked how they are made or where they come from.

She knows that “Ladies grow them”, they “stay in for a long time and then they fall out”, and she tells me about the one boy and one girl she is going to have when she grows up and gets married.

Trust me when I say we don’t sit around looking at the latest issue of Brides Magazine with TLC’s Birth Story on in the background.  I really believe some of this stuff is just hard-wired in her.  She is just so drawn to weddings and babies; it’s unreal.

4. Not “funny” but shocking is when your child screams, “Awww, mom, look at the pregnant lady!  I bet she’s going to have her baby any day now.”

But the lady isn’t pregnant.


5. She has also told Scott and I many times over the past two weeks that we’re amazing parents, that she really really really loves us, and she’s so glad we take her to Aruba and go as a family.

We ooh and ahh and melt and tell her how much that means to us and that she’s an amazing little girl and that we love her, too.

We’re just about ready to wipe up our Hallmark tears up when she asks us for (more) dessert.  She has told me that she liked this one

Stack of chocolate saltine toffee

…better than this one

White chocolate peanut pretzel chocolate chip fudge

…but always finishes up her request with a very nonchalant, “It’s okay Mom, whatever you want to give me, I’m sure I’ll like it.”

Such a little dessert thief!


Do you have kids (or nieces, nephews, cousins, younger siblings, etc.) or are you around small children who say some really funny (or not so funny) things? 

If you can remember anything off the top of your head, I’d love to hear it.

Do you remember saying anything funny, off the wall, or wildly inappropriate as a child?

I think we all did.

My mother has said that when my sister was about three years old she apparently made a few choice remarks about someone’s size in the grocery line and why were they buying all that ice cream anyway.

Sometimes the things kids say make no sense whatsoever.  They’re kids, they have imaginations, and they just blabber and it’s very nonsensical.

Other times the things they say are rooted in honesty and common sense but they have no filter and just blurt out whatever is on their mind.  They blurt things out that adults wouldn’t, and it can be pretty priceless.

Case in point, the #1 in this post.  It was so spot on.  Turning him off; everyone in earshot of him was wishing for it but no had the balls the heart to tell the guy to zip it, please.

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  1. Four is such a fun age! I swear my Facebook statuses last year were DAILY filled with Izzy-isms. She has some funny things come out of her mouth, but four was by far the most hilarious! She’s five now and the funnies haven’t stopped. Just today she was playing her new camera & in her ramblings we heard, “Oh crap!” I was trying sooo hard not laugh, but I couldn’t help it! Then she kept saying, “Good Grease” and we couldn’t figure it out. Eventually we realized she was trying to say, “Good Grief”! LOL

  2. That 1st one is too funny, gotta love kids! When my younger cousin was 6 my aunt went to get her up for school and she said mommy I’m sick today and my aunt said what’s wrong to which she said I have pms lol!

  3. Awwwwwwweeee – Skylar is so cute!!!! Love the story about the man and the key – she is witty!

    My nephew cracks us up all the time, and always says the darnedest things. He is 4.

  4. Over the summer we had lots of bad storms here in the Northeast and one of them caused a tornado warning in the middle of the day.

    I work in a multifunctional community center, and the daycare/preschool is just on the other side of our office suite. Our suite is the only one without windows, so the safety plan is to huddle in the middle of our suite during these times.

    One of the kids asked the teacher “why are we in this big room?” And the teacher, surprisingly, said “there might be a tornado” and another little girl yelled “OH NO I’M AFRAID OF THE MUNCHKINS”

    I just about died laughing.

    Side note: no tornado. All kids safe.

  5. Great list, 1 is too funny! :-) I took my 2yo niece to a grocery store bathroom on a crowded Xmas shopping trip awhile back and she announced to the entire room that I was wearing Christmas panties.

    1. Lol. Sometimes Skylar screams when we’re in a public restroom, are you going poop or just pee, Mom? Classic.

  6. My nieces and nephews say the funniest things! The last one was my 8-year-old niece telling me “I have a boyfriend and he isn’t even my brother!” And I thought…well that’s certainly a good thing, lol.

    My 5-year-old nephew is the one who says things most often. But of course, I can’t seem to come up with one right now. Although, I do remember on Halloween he wanted to take his mask off and his mom asked him how people would know who he was. And he said “They’ll know I’m me. I’m still me, even if I’m wearing a mask.”

  7. Little kids are hilarious.
    One time when my nephews were 3 and 1, the 1 year-old farted and the 3 year-old said “poop it out mcshitty.” It was so funny.

  8. Love it!!!
    My kids have autism, so they don’t speak much. But one time my folks were visiting and my dad bought a bunch of cookies. My daughter took one and gave him a look that said, very clearly, “Touch my cookie and you’ll suffer!”
    Also, when my niece was little she was walking down the street with her parents. The guy in front of them had not only low-slung pants, but his underwear was slipping. Very loudly she said “I can see that guy’s butt crack!” My brother shushed her, and she protested, saying “But I used the scientific term!”

  9. Man they are so funny! And have such huge personalities at such a young age. My 4 year old niece recently said, “I have to tell you something head-splittingly awesome!” No clue where she got that one. And she also texts me sometimes, and I think it’s from my sister. Too smart for their own good I think! :)

  10. I love reading all those stories!
    I rememember a hilarious moment with my aupair kids in Ireland. M. (4 yrs old) wanted to ride J.´s (3 yrs old) bike, but J. didn´t really like that. J. told M. to get off and M. was thinking hard of an excuse to stay put. He frowned, chewed his lip and then spit it out: “But, but, BUT J., I am keeping your handles warm!!”. J. thanked M. for being so kind. I was laughing soooo hard, I will never forget this moment.

  11. I babysit a two year old and he says some things that just make me laugh! Like when we’re reading “Jennifer, read the pages with the words on them!” or when playing baseball he told me “No, you’re not ready to run the bases yet” and one time he was ‘reading’ to me and stopped very suddenly and told me to turn the air conditioning off because he couldn’t read with it on.

    1. Sometimes I can’t read to Skylar until she has like 3 strings of necklaces, 4 plastic rings on, with 7 stuffed animals. Then..we’re ready.

  12. She sounds absolutely charming. Can’t wait until my little one starts chatting us up :) She already has quite the attitude, so who knows what will come out!

    1. Oh just wait it gets better and better :)

      I was reading on your site too that you’re a Dr of PT!! Congrats on being a super smartie and on getting thru all those years of school!

      1. Thanks! I’m a nerd and kind of like school. Now I only work about 16 hours a month on average, haha! I wouldn’t give it up for the world though. I love, love, love it. But I love raising the kiddo too. I’m so blessed to be able to do both.